No time for bubbleguns
by Mansah
Summary: Logan values his friends but once you're crossed from the list you're pretty much dead to him. Veronica betrayed them and now she has to pay. Pre-series/early s1.


I don't own anything.

Comments of any kind are loved!

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Logan doesn't believe in absolutes; they presuppose a kind of 'either or' view he has never experienced. For starters, it's hard to believe in the unconditional love of flawless parents when you find yourself lying in a pool of your own blood one Easter because you've been in the biscuit tin before the party started. (Eleven years later he still vows he'll kill whichever waiter ratted him out). So yeah, he gave up on the naïve belief in fairy tale black and white a while ago: he waved goodbye to the villains who were evil just because at the time when he kicked Santa out of his sledge. Life's a bitch, an endlessness of shades of grey. (But what's the point in crying about it?).

Logan doesn't believe in absolutes; but if there's one thing he treats as if he does it's his friendships. Family is thrust upon you but friends you choose; it's not that he hates himself (really he does, a little) but he can't help but think people who thinks he's worth their time deserve a gold medal. (A psychologist would have a field day). The most important thing in a friendship: loyalty. They have your back, you have theirs. It's an inviolable code. It's something you give even when they're too proud to ask for it. (This might make him the last goddam guy in the universe to think chivalry lives on; he's aware of the irony in that).

¤o¤o¤

Duncan introduced Logan to a world that, if not quite normal, at least still had space for children's play and fantasy. Where one could roam and be mischievous without the fear of a fist. (He'd never admit it but in his memory it's all singing animals and idyllic montage Disney style when he pictures the two of them at that time). Before there was the fabulous four, before there was Dick or Lilly or Sean or Connor or anyone else there was two boys who were friends and who stuck together through thick and thin. (Best fucking story ever, even if it'd flop as a film). If you think about it there's really only one way this could play out once the dust settles after Lilly's death; when Sheriff Mars is removed from office for doing the unforgiveable –bumbling the case, blaming the Kanes.

This is how it goes; Veronica sides with her dad and that's a betrayal. It doesn't really matter what she was before; what she is now is the enemy, a viper harboured in their midst. And so it's simple, really; because even if he has never believed in protecting the weak and the needy he believes in protecting his friends. So even if, in fact because, Duncan Kane's all empty shell and wordlessness after Lilly's death and even if he never tells Logan what he needs Logan knows he needs his help and he knows how he can give it. (And if this makes him the last defender of a bygone brother-to-brother honour code he's okay with that. The thing he'll never say: he's a romantic by nature; it is life that made him cynical).

Logan values his friends but once you're crossed from the list you're pretty much dead to him. 'A long time ago we used to be friends' is really not going to win you any brownie points. Duncan's too stunned to fight so Logan does it for him. So when he darts snide remarks and angry barbs against Veronica he's doing it for Duncan (and if it soothes his own grief that's just an added bonus).And if he sees her tear-stained cheeks (but if it's only marks they weren't real and just a prove that she's a cold-hearted bitch) when he has thrown another insult at her it doesn't really matter because she's done worse to Duncan. (And if he feels a pang of remorse at the sight anyway he can live with that). No one said war wasn't messy. (Maybe what he feels hasn't quite made it into full-fledged hatred yet but it's just a matter of time). It's hardly a surprise that sympathy for Veronica went out the window once she decided to stab them in the back - now she's going to pay.

He goes about her torture like a trained assassin and yet the move towards psychotic jackass is so gradual he hardly even notices it (if he did he'd tell himself the cause demanded it). But then there's a certain freedom in entering warriorthink! (less time to remember all the details of a past which ceased to matter the minute his girlfriend stopped breathing). And if warfare is less filled with glory than he used to imagine when he was three he doesn't really care. He doubts anyone feels good about their first kill and he has only just begun. Still it's kind of a relief when he goes from shooting innocents to missions against trained soldiers. That she's harder to rattle in her new skin doesn't matter too much either (it's easier to hate a declared enemy than one pretending to be the doe-eyed damsel in distress).

So they battle on. Two hard -boiled bodies ready to throw grenades and explode bombs at a twenty metre distance. Plant bongs and smash headlights just because they can. (And if at some point this became more than protection of Duncan it's too exhilarating for him to care). If there was any innocence left of either after Lilly's death it's gone before Duncan awakes from his stupor. (He considers it a victory because he's pretty sure she's the only one who lost something).

¤o¤o¤

If focus has changed it happened to subtly for him to notice. So when Duncan eventually does emerge from his walking coma Logan doesn't understand what's changed. 'When did you get like this? It's like you've been going over to the dark side, bit by bit, so slowly that I didn't notice when you morphed into a full fledged jackass' is met with incomprehension; noted not heeded. There's not much left to save, and so it's too little too late. He's too far gone to listen and you can't undo a year's indoctrination in a day. (The truth is he's afraid of what he must face if he did).

And maybe some would say it's a tragedy. Maybe some would say it means that at some point any soldier will forget why they started fighting. Or that even the noblest reasons at some point lose their meaning. Or that the only thing gained from violence is self-perpetuating violence. (It's all lies. He fights because it matters and maybe it matters more than before).

Logan doesn't ask when it was that warfare became the only way to escape the pain; all he knows is that it does. (It also brings pleasure and joy and a host of other emotions he's afraid to analyse). All he knows is when hate finally kicked in it took the sting from grief. (If there's gratitude there somewhere he doesn't know who to). So if it means he'll have to hate Veronica, fight her to the last of his breath to keep it all at bay that's what he'll do. (Hating Veronica, and having her hate him back, has been the best fucking thing to happen to him since forever). If that sounds a lot like love... (but he's never going to go there).


End file.
